My Favorite Part of Rejection: Telling My Kids
You might think the best parts of being an artist are the big wins—the moments your work is accepted, celebrated, and displayed under perfect gallery lighting, those special connections with your customers, not to mention all the joy found in the creative process. And you would be right, these are the BEST parts. But wins are only part of the whole story. I actually appreciate having the opportunity to tell my kids “I didn’t get in”, here and there.
Here’s why.
1. Applying Takes Courage
When I tell my kids I got rejected, the first thing they know is that I tried. Submitting your work—whether it’s a painting, a poem, or a job application—takes guts. It means you’re putting yourself out there with no guarantee of acceptance. I want them to see that courage isn’t about being fearless. It’s about being brave despite the fear of falling flat. I want them to have the courage to apply for things too—things that stretch them, scare them, and invite the possibility of rejection.
My daughter recently submitted her own artwork to a Yearbook Cover contest. It is beautiful, she pushed herself, and had the courage to submit it, so I'm super proud of her. But I also know there’s a chance she won’t win. If that happens, I hope that watching me handle my own losses will prepare her. She’ll know that not winning doesn’t mean you’re not good enough—it just means that this thing wasn’t for you. We keep going and get ready for the things that will inevitably come our way.
2. You Don’t Die from Disappointment
I love giving my kids the play-by-play of how I handle rejection. I might say:
“Yeah, I’m bummed. It stings.”
“I kind of disagree about who got in but it’s not my show.”
“I feel a little embarrassed. Normal.”
“Their choice makes sense to me, my art isn’t what they are looking for, it’s not personal.”
Then, they watch me not spiral. I don’t blame the judges, attack myself, or sink into a self-pity marathon. They see me processing the feelings—naming them, tossing them around in conversations with trusted friends, and eventually letting them pass. They see me reflect on what I could do differently next time while still staying true to myself. And they see me keep painting and keep applying. Because the only way to guarantee failure is to stop trying.
3. Jealousy, FOMO, and Anger Are Inevitable—and Survivable
Rejection isn’t just about not getting what you want. It’s also about watching other people get what you want. That pang of envy? The feeling of being left out? Yep, par for the course. I tell my kids that those feelings will always be part of the deal, no matter how much you grow. The goal isn’t to avoid them—it’s to recognize them, try to find a way to be happy for others, and let the feelings soften over time.
4. The Long Game is the Only Game
My kids know that when I get a rejection email, I let myself feel it—but I also get back to work. It’s about building the resilience to keep going.
A chance to show them what it really looks like to chase a dream—with courage, grace, and a whole lot of persistence is just as important as sharing the achievements. And whether my daughter wins her art contest or not, I hope she knows that the real victory is in having the guts to put her work in front of her peers in the first place!
I planned on bringing these beautiful pieces to the summer event that just gave me the boot so I will have to find a home for them some other way! They will be replacing some work at the Shoppes of the Asbury in Ocean City, NJ in June if they don’t find a home before then! Reach out with any questions. Shipping is included in the prices so if you are local, we can arrange a discount for pick-up/drop off.
