a gift for a friend who has lost a loved one / by Lauren DeMarco

Life and death and God and the moon and gravity are so abstract and complicated. No one has the answers, which is comforting, but also terrifying. I am still trying to figure out faith and spirit for myself but for now, the closest word I can come up with to describe how I see God is: “force”. Like light or energy or sound or gravity I feel this comfort that he/she/it is with me even though I don’t understand he/she/it, at all.

My friend just lost her mother, she had been sick for some time. I was hit really hard by the news of her passing because this friend had shared with me, over the last year or so, some of the struggles she was facing with her mother being sick. Death of a friend’s loved one can be a hard thing. I have listened to people’s lived experiences and have read that people feel isolated when they are going through a hard time like this because people in pain make other people uncomfortable. I am going to try to face her pain head on so she can feel the love! I wanted to give this friend a gift from the heart and I thought of two ideas.

Because of the abstract nature of death, and the miraculous nature of life I felt like I wanted to get something sensory that was small but captured something big. I narrowed it down to a prism which she could sit on the window sill at home. It is beautiful on it’s own but when the light hits it and refracts to make a rainbow it’s so magical. The hope is that she would be able to see the essence of someone so beautiful to her in the rainbow. I also considered a small chime that she could hang; a force as great as the wind and the unique sound are taken for granted but are so majestic when you connect them to this spiritual metaphor.

I decided to go with this prism for her. I plan on explaining my intention behind it, am expecting a nice cry, hug, and a moment of connection/love